My dad hugged me and said I love u. I'm glad I didn't pull out that night.
i wish there was an iPhone app that lets you write a TeXt LiKe tHiS
dude...come out of the closet already
oh no you fucking didn't eat my mac and cheese you cunt
I feel like someone had their period in my eyes.
I'm sorry I got a little outta control last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We had a 30 min conversation last night about whether or not to bone that girl with a lisp to see if she moans with one...
Can we put this graduation on the shelf figuratively and go drink
Fool me once shame on you. Fool me twice and I'm the idiot missing half an eyebrow again.
Don't forget the part about the bar bathroom stumbles.
Oh damn, you're right. I have to include that. You turned off all the lights with your head. That was impressive.
It's statistically impossible for there not to be at least one guy sexting you right now
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently we don't communicate very well unless we're drunk and/or naked
Just taking a shit and realized the captain planet theme song is stuck in my head.
Dude I think the cat just licked the coke plate
I came on her face and asked if she wanted fries with that. Currently driving to McDonald's.
Y’all did coke off my Puff The Magic Dragon plate.😂
Is it too much to ask for 10 minutes of privacy while I masturbate?
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