But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
Watching marley and me... this girls got me whipped man
I only have two new blunt burns this year as opposed to freshman year's 6. This is growing up.
Fucking freshmen need to learn how to puke in the bushes outside the dorm and not in the fucking elevator.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she wouldn't play beer pong with me unless I took off the rollerskates.
Stole every fake plant from the lobby and placed it in front of you're apartment door, Enjoy!
Does saving a line for myself for the morning so I don't seem hungover at work count as responsibility?
Adult decisions.
I might not remember all of last night but I clearly remember the part where I humped the mailbox.
Waiting to interview and found a beer in my purse from last night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He told me we shouldn't hang out because it would be weird and then snap chatted me a picture of his dick
He told me I have nice nipples. You can't just tell someone that and then leave the state!
We knew it was an interesting night when we found my thong wrapped around a chocolate chip muffin in the fridge.
My sister just poured me a dbl Ciroc on the rocks and said "the ice makes it festive." Honestly what a role model.
I fucked the midget version of a backstreet boy and I am not mad about it
im gonna miss him. and by him, i mean his dick
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