Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
My bottle opener just broke off in the cork
They don't teach how to cope w these situations in boy scouts
I just had to explain to my father, how having two screens plugged into my computer doesn't use more internet.
if you don't let us come over today i'm not taking the second plan b pill. your call.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I imagine anything that isn't a dilldo attached to a jackhammer, powered by a generator won't be amazing enough for you
being a senior sucks, I just started embracing my inner slutty college girl, and it's almost time to put her away...for like, ever. and i really like her.
It felt like Party Santa dropped by and gave us two more 18-packs.
I AM VODKA MAN
When my mom found out he was a high school drop out she was like "seriously? Can we raise the bar a little higher next time kels?" So my moms pretty cool
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
To be honest I've become too lazy for the work involved in getting laid.
You run marathons and you're too lazy for sex? Priorities, man.
Touche.
I was at the pharmacy picking up my herpes medication and the pharmacist asked if I had any questions about my medicine, looked at the bottle, and laughed. Insult to injury man.
I walked a mile in this weather wearing nothing but a toga. Zero fucks. Your move Mother Nature.
Someone is giving away free yogurt on craigslist. Can I get a ride?
Why is there a whip in the kitchen?
Drank vodka clubs for 6 hours last night. Holy shit just realized that.
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