I woke up this morning and the first thing i saw was the harry potter tattoo on his left butt cheek.
The bartender let me pay my bar tab with my itunes giftcards.
after I pulled back my foreskin she said, "cool like a transformer". I really like her now.
You said you didn't deserve to walk so you started crawling down to your room
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This is your typical drubkba Amy test. Shout out to jisus for auto correct
I woke up in an empty bathtub with the wrong brother
That's how I like my men: traumatized and crying in a ball
He is asleep with his dick hanging out of my my little pony pajamas. I am required to wake this man up by blowjob
Your sexual fantasies often terrify me but get a pic
Can we please start going to the gym before I accidentally kill someone via explosive fat girl pants button accident
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
YO. MCGRIDDLES.
He's 30 years old and woke me up for a hand job. Last time I go home with someone I met through Tinder.
Ok, maybe playing "whose family is most dysfunctional" wasn't the best drunk idea we've had. Todd''s been crying in the bathroom for an hour. We can't get him out...
I'm definitely not mad. My best friend is dating my drug dealer, it's impossible to be mad.
I have to lie to someone and move five gallons of fermenting alcohol across campus but after that i'll hit you up 4 sho
As you were falling you yelled out, "save my burrito!" Priorities
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