Nakedness is not a toga. Just sayin
what if cement was really a rainbow color they just secretly paint it grey so as not to distract drivers
are you high?
She was asian and in a relationship... my two weaknesses
Superbowl + Mdma, hope we're on the same page.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I returned the dress. When they asked for the reason for return I said, 'I don't deserve to wear white'.
I feel like my vagina stays drunk longer than the rest of me. It's always super sensitive and hungry the day after drinking.
I woke up and took my shirt off, and there was what I was assume to be pieces of tree in my chest hair. Any ideas about that one?
I'm on my fifth cocktail in twenty minutes. I don't think I will end this on two legs.
Did you fuck him in my garden last night?
That WOULD explain the dirt in my vagina
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's like rock paper scissors. Cold showers and smoking beat hangovers.
You're asking your pregnant booty call to go to a funeral with you?
You called me last night and said you had a vision that a cat made you a sandwich. You were tripping way too hard
It might be whiskey, but I view Marge and Homer Simpson as something to strive for
Well I'm missing half a toenail if that's any indication of my night
On the flip side, we did almost have sex wearing a gorilla mask and deer antlers.............
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