I was just making a list of the girls i have slept with and i can't remember your sisters name
2010 has been the year of the Eskimo brother. Let's see how many igloos we can shack in next year
Have I told you recently that I love you, if for no other reason than you make my irresponsible substance abuse look tame by comparison?
Give us adventure or give us cock. Or cocktails.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You fucked her?! HER?!
She sent me a nudie pic with a bunch of weed nuggets all over her tits...what was I supposed to do? I don't hate America sir.
Ginormous penis in the breeze, cumming champagne showers into your eye
His search history includes homemade sex toys and a plunger. I'm scared about what goes on in their place.
So last night I taught an old homeless dude to respond to "Blue" so I could shout your my boy Blue at the party
I'm bringing cupcakes to work today as an apology for my actions at the bar last night, my boss probably can't look at me the same ever again
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well I was thinking of taking him out for drinks then lecturing him about his drinking... kind of like an open minded intervention
Well he was saying something about being emotionally unavailable since his dad died, but then I blew him in a tree and he shut up
Sending dick pics while driving a car going 80 in the rain at night to a married woman? Why hello 2014
Did we seriously steal a wet floor sign from McDonald's then get chased down by a homeless man for it? Never drinking again.
He told me I was "too flexible." Excuse me?
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