At a bar where three women in denim shorts are debating techniques and skillsets for wrangling goats. You stay classy Delaware.
Let's review the facts-we're bored, we have a ton of beer, and we live 5 minutes from the zoo. This equation is easily solvable
It was just a reflex. BOOM I kicked her in the face
Just FYI, I'm breaking up with my boyfriend tonight and you need to be on call to be my first rebound bang
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HEAR YE, HEAR YE! BY ROYAL DECREE, I WILL BE KNOCKING ON YOUR DOOR AT 2PM UNLESS YOU GET THE FUCK UP. IT'S 1:50. CIGARETTE TIME, BITCH. I LOVE YOU.
Apparently coming home smelling like I took a bath in beer is frowned upon in this household. I'm so glad I don't actually live here.
At one point, he came in to give her a pep talk, and then after he left, she just kept whispering his name into the toilet between heaves.
Just made a memo in my blackberry that contains seth's funeral arrangements. I have a feeling he has big plans for the weekend.
You really could become the cat lady we've always dreamed of.
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I dealt with the imported moonshine, but when the cocaine came out, I had to get the fuck out of there
It's national "dress up your pet day" come over. Drugs and dressed up cats..it's the shit dreams are made of.
I swear she is the Mary Poppins of drugs
Not sure if your roommate speaks German while sleeping, or if she woke up, figured out we were fucking, and used German to swear at us.
Definitely accidentally brought drugs into Disneyland. Considering using them.
If I ever say "I'm never drinking again" just hand me a bottle of jack. I'll snap out of it.
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