What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
Which ones?
I'm good, just tired from chardonnay and giving hand jobs.
i think i will get a tattoo on my butt that says "im not bluffin with my muffin", but i guess if i was serious, i would get it above my c-section scar
this is a mass text: i just made a grilled cheese with an iron and pasta with the coffeemaker in the hotel room. bow before your new god.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
biggest mistake ever: halloween 2009
so apparently we got drunk enough at the reception to rip the center pieces apart and use the flower vases as "fancy glasses"
I'm pretty sure this is how polyamorous relationships begin.
Topless bubble bath with a lesbian is debatable as a gay experience.
So I come home yesterday and my brother is like "watch this" and it turns out he's been retraining my dog to come running when u say "anal"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The fact that he said "there's nothing wrong with being a raging drunk, just ask my mother." has me thinking that I have no positive role-models among my friends.
And apparently I was the one that started the drunken make out session that broke the window
Why did you fed-x me a peanut butter sandwich?
It seemed like the thing to do. There's popcorn on it too.
STOP smoking sooo much weed. Damn
I just came so hard my hamstring felt like it was going to tear. I am also now a screamer
He told me he felt the only proper thing to do was fuck me to the top of the corporate ladder
Southwest doesn't have zingzang bloody Mary mix. I'm gonna file a complaint with the FAA
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