my mom just found my bong and asked what it was. I told her it was a hookah
and she bought it?!?
yeah...but her friends at work told her hookah was fun and now she wants to smoke it with me...im thinkin yes
i wish my apartment had room service that i didn't have to pay for.
i hope when i become a housewife i'm more of a gretchen and less of a vicky
I feel like Captain Blackout doesn't do her justice. Brigadier General Blackout is much better.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
yeah bitch needs to recognize there's only one person with this face
And then i made him answer questions about me before i took off my clothes
She eyed me up from across the bar and mouthed "I have no gag reflex".
Please tell me why 'cock-a-thon' was auto saved in my phone.
Hah, I lost the lenses in my glasses, didn't event notice til this morning... How was the meeting?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh god the guy I took underwear from at the bar is trying to add me as a friend on facebook now.
Ikeep having to ask jim if I'm actually talking. I canmt feel my body...this is what Christmas is all about
Dude next time u fuck on our counters will u please let me know BEFORE I make lunch.
DAMMIT. BOHEMIAN RHAPSODY IS GONNA GET STUCK IN MY HEAD AGAIN. FUCK YOU OLYMPICS.
The fact that I bookended my summer with pregnancy scares doesn't upset me. The fact that he's a trombone major does...
I just texted him from the other room to come have sex with me-stress relieved
You are such a millennial
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