He cooked the food on a paper plate in the oven.
Wtf. Who made this Big Mac, Helen Keller?
but why does your life always sound like the plot of a porn?
You got cut off after you tried to make the dog funnel moscato.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The stripper just invited me to take shots with him out at his car after he gets off stage.. I mean why not? I've already seen everything he's got and it'll be easy to get him naked.
Jail is not for me. They portion control your meals and I don't really like that.
I sent him an 18 page sext. He's going to have a good morning.
This is one of those times I wish I had a time machine so I could go back and punch myself in the face to make me realize what I need to do before it's too late
I just KNEW this was gonna happen. NEVER say "all the free Jameson you can drink" around Tina.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently I told him he would be good for human sacrifice.
I just have to decide what I love more, food or dick.
I should've left when he told me that he only smoked crack by accident once
Congrats! Its a fuck boy!
Did my dad just see you doing a walk of shame?
Yup I waved.
The Domino's delivery guy is in front of me at The Wendy's drive-through. Hmmm.....
Randomize