Fun fact: he pulled out my nuva ring while he was fingering me.. he looked really confused at me and it a couple of times, so i just said "surprise! not only is it good for pleasure, it's also really handy for storing plastic toys." I'm thinking he's definately gonna call.
Nyc is like a mosaic of my failed dates.
Ok cool. Ill pick up liquor because, well let's be honest, we don't need an excuse anymore.
you can't wake me up at 4am to suck your dick and then give me a high five at the bar
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it would be cheaper just to buy a dildo to intimidate people with.
I like how he had to correct himself in stating that I was the fat one in the threesome.
what's the appropriate greeting for someone whose bed you've had sex with someone else in?
usual friday morning routine. the pants i wore last night are in my passenger seat and im rooting through the pockets trying to make exact change at the dunkin donuts drive thru
i feel like i should invite him over so he can cockblock my roommate one last time before he graduates. for old times sake, ya know
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I decided I was tough enough to wax my bikini area myself. Long story short, I'll be drunk when you get home
Note to self don't stop having sex during an earthquake! I call it a 6.1 orgasm!
I thought you might think I was an idiot who thought cock rings prevent STDs,
I'm "drunk text both siblings" drunk.
Your slutty phase was the highlight of my year.
He took off all my clothes, fingered me, than said "would you be more comfortable if I was naked too?"
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