9 beers later and she still looks like Gary Busey.
Planned Parenthood should have gift certificates.
On this egg donor form, it asks "In the past 5 years, have you had sex for drugs or money?" It only gives a yes or no option and no place to explain myself. What do I do?
yeah that pretty much nipped itself in the bud when I realized i could see her whiteheads glowing in the blacklight
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I managed to throw up 90 feet under water, just removed my breathing tube, puked, put it back in. All inclusive is the way to go.
hes a soccer player too.. you'd think he has better penis eye coordination
Just found out my mom tried to sue the birth control company when she got pregnant with me...love you too mom.
her facebook pictures are like a timeline of all the guys she's screwed.
Random girl at this party just gave me a lap dance in a la-Z-boy. Night significantly improved.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Whatever you gave me is making me lactate
I don't feel bad about fucking old guys. That's what I want. It's what I likeeeeee.
Hey! Where are you? It's Irrisponsible Patio time and you're not here firing shots down summer student's throats
You also proposed and then tried to jack me off
PS if you want to hear something hilarious as my little sister was showing me her engagement ring I open a Snapchat from R and it's literally a dick pic. Very different points in our life
So I was laying on the couch reading a book and he texted me. All I saw was the image of him spitting on my vagina last night in the moonlight. I gagged.
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