if you dont talk to me in person you cant text me
i just walked in on him masterbating..to a picture of me. that definitely has to be true love.
Just wanted to remind you that you literally cut the underwear off a man.
I see you felt the need to carve your name in my kitchen table. thanks
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Your lack of a response has proven you've clearly forgotten how crazy I am.
Now one day I will be able to tell my children how a drag queen in a gay bar told mommy that bin laden was dead
he broke off your car antennae to use as a walking stick before he smoked because he claimed to lack the facial strength needed to open his eyes when he's high
Did we do anything stupid last night besides hook up with our ex girlfriends?
just once I'd like to not pass out before we leave the designated pre-drinking place
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Random question: Have you ever woken up and were suprised to not have a penis?
I'm actually kinda upset that we didn't consider velcro-ing detachable capes to our clothes before this moment.
my experiences serve only to benefit you young virgin
Nothing says "I'm sorry for shitting in your bed" like an Olive Garden gift card
Just stay awake and booze cruise it to class. How are you a senior and have never went to class drunk? No excuses, I have a better gpa.
And now Google thinks I have a hard hat fetish...maybe I do...
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