Dude stop singing. Your life is not an episode of fucking glee
drunk making out is the fucking beeeest. specially when it's your exboyfriend
I wonder if you'll be as excited about this as you are now tomorrow morning.
at one point last night, you were literally auctioning me off. "reeeally drunk hot girl ! we'll start the bidding at an ice cold corona. oh, we have a bidder! do i hear a shot of whiskey? going once, going twice.."
youre welcome
I just watched a guy pee from a second floor window onto the line of 100 people waiting to get in.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
did i walk over a car last night?
Do you think if I puke at the gym they think is because I'm going hard walking on the treadmill?
Well I turned her sobriety into my own personal drinking game
Well... When your girlfriend fucks your sister, the 2 week courtesy window goes out the door.
2048oz a keg...divide that by solo cup... comes out to 128 beers...simplifies into 5.3repeating cases...drinkable between two people
and u failed math?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I should start an etsy shop with all the jewelry and clothes women leave at my house
Hey, remember that time a week ago when we walk-of-shamed literally down the Vegas Strip at 8:45am and I had one broken heel?
You told your boyfriend he needed to fuck you in the tree because it would make you guys one with nature.
Did he?
God gave you your own nipples for a reason.
I have filthy fantasies involving his tongue. My vagina almost exploded while he was licking that ice cream cone.
Someone should walk up to them and say, "We're sorry, you're too hot to be out here with the other humans."
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