pick me up and take me to a bathroom i have to shit
no
the bathroom is right infront of the beerpong table
im sorry you werent invited but you live 2 blocks away PLEASE
either she doesn't know how to dress properly on a sunday morning stroll, or I just saw a 60 year old on a walk of shame
My workout was carrying 2 cases home from the grocery. It's Bowl Week.
I told my mom I had sex with him and even SHE was proud. Now that's saying something.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just spent 10 minutes talking to the lady who works at taco bell about my romantic situation.
I have a king size bed, I guarantee multiple orgasms, and I'll give you a ride home in the morning. Respond quickly.
Dude that bathroom stall was not tall enough to be doing lines in, guys kept peeking over and giving us high fives
I almost got away with it until she smelled beer on the stroller.
Dude, it's the frankincense and myrrh soap. Smelling like baby Jesus will get you laid.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Friend date it is then. Question: Can friends engage in sexual activities after dates?
I picked up a chick last night on crutches wearing a I am boobman tshirt. I love raves.
Fun fact: drinking me now steals weaponry
The only person I have to bring is crazy hospital guy
HE'S NOT INVITED!!!
i am currently wearing a bowl of frosting on my head. i do not regret any of my life choices leading to this moment
I guess I'm famous. Hot lesbian was WARNED about me. Still hooked up with her.
I'll pay you to teach me.
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