Hi
Babe...You're really smothering me right now
My mom was talking about how protein is essential to strong bones and then I told her, I'll give you protein.
How unfortunate for your Mom.
Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
Whats the glycemic index on semen?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just took a beer bong out of snuffaluffagus's trunk. Your move
he calls his bong barack obonga, commander in kief. i found where i belong.
i officially have more pictures of his dick than pictures of us together
Damn it if I pass out in the bathroom one more time this month im going to rehab...
Yea. Some girl set a laundry machine on fire. She's not getting married.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Her text was so long it had an arrow to expand it. You know it's bad when even your iPhone can't handle her
I just almost puked & then I panicked and forced it back down because I thought I would be a waste of the apple turnover I ate.. I'm that hungover
Omg I can't even...
It gave me the St Patrick's Day nickname Slutty McShitfaced. I've never felt so understood.
Like did I tell you about the ex Amish guy? Because that was a mess
He has a bear rug in his room. I'm going to ask if we can have sex on it. Wilderness sex.
I get so sad when I watch him slowly destroy his life with whiskey and cocaine. Then he bites my neck and I just want to fuck him. I can't help it.
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