i cant finish this easy-mac because i need it for a chaser.
i guess that's what happens when you find your girlfriend at the zoo
how was your night?
well, i just purchased 'sorry for being a drunk whore' cupcakes. how do you think my night was?
I had fun last night. We should have sex less often.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is it wierd that you're going to be my best man and you've fucked my wife?
Did you get the "i have a yeast infection from that wet frat bathroom floor" text?
hey now, it was 6 bucks for 5 shots. you would have lost your panties too.
Some guy I've never met before just came outside and started rolling a blunt on our fence and passed it around to all six of us. At eight in the morning. Today's gonna be weird.
His last name was woodcox? That just screams I've got a great penis
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm glad you don't care about kids. That's one of your better qualities.
THE COP WHO TOOK MY MUGSHOT LAST NIGHT JUST ADDED ME ON FACEBOOK
Girl i am always here for you. But i am going to have sex now so im going to call you in the morning.
I drunkenly said, "That's my future father-in-law!" And everyone made an uncomfortable / disgusted face... including the aforementioined future father-in-law. Maybe I should start dating other people.
I'm so drunk I forgot what to do to go pee.
My bald co-worker just chugged a literal gallon of coffee. My condolences to his kidneys.
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