so i woke up this morning thinking _____ was in bed with me. . .but it was only a half eaten sonic burger
The brown eye won't let me do that either.
me texting you is like we have secret walkie talkies.
the couple across the street's about to bang. go get the popcorn and come join us.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm so hungover even the car commercials make me nauseas
She puked in the bank of America parking lot? Awesome.
Yeah, figured I'd deposit my check while we were there.
They refer to his house as "the abortion clinic". Cant wait.
Dad and I are shitfaced screaming at Canadians in Walmart. Life is good.
I hurt so much. Not in the emotional way, but in the I went to dive bars sorta way.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I honestly feel really bad for any girl with a period that lasts more than a day
Everything about that text makes me want to throttle you and cry
Dude. Stop sending me lines from Hungry Like the Wolf
So I guess I bought a cat last night. Fuuuccckkk.
I just spilled a shot of Patron on your mom.. Body shots may be happening. You better get here quick.
I ate mushroom chocolates & went to the botanical gardens for Christmas. HAPPY FUCKING HOLIDAYS
Wow. I hope you were either doing that in your sleep or blacked out. You threw up then covered yourself in duct tape... i wish i got that on camera
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