yea and when she crawled to her room she yelled at a bookbag to "get the fuck out my way"
after last nights cooking expirments i have lost all faith in the fire alarm battery
Wouldn't pinatas filled with coke be awesome idea for cinco de mayo?
Was it high me or sober me who put those Jolly Rancher sticks in the freezer? I'd be soooo impressed if it was high me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I need to stop getting so excited when a guy unzips his pants and its bigger than my boyfriends. I look like a kid in a candy store.
To tired for the bar. Came home and drank wine out of the bottle. Kind of don't want to know what that says about my life.
can't believe I traded a good night's sleep and a midterm for your blurry tits
I am too high to deal with coming home to 11 naked people in my living room
I was gonna turn him down, but he correctly identified a song from Pocahontas.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yes. I'm realizing that sports games are good reasons to drink. I just cheer when everyone else cheers.
I don't suppose you have a recipe for a cocktail made of bitter resignation, regretting everything, poor life descisions and deep-seated self-loathing?
Fuck the library it's too quiet and makes me uneasy. I feel like I'm so isolated I should take off my pants or something
we just got sex advice from a midget. You better fucking get here.
He is 6'5, went to a Christian school and he's a violinist....I'm going to fuck the jesus right out of him.
I don't know why, but whenever I shave my balls I feel more aerodynamic.
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