I need to shower the guilt off of my thighs.
Watching NYC prep. Doing a shot everytime one of these d-bags flips his hair. I give it 10 minutes before alcohol poisoning set in.
you'd be alarmed at how much plan b i just found in mom's bathroom...
Crisis Situation. How do you have that "we probably shouldn't make out tonight cause i've got an oral herpes outbreak coming on" conversation on a third date.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The movie was so bad she gave me two blowjobs. Two.
My dinner was lean cuisine and tequila. Aaaaaand I need a boyfriend.
still using moms red Christmas cookie plate she sent to cut lines on. not sure I can return with a clear conscious
Just found my old bop it. So many drinking game possibilities
Chasing shots with sriracha-covered mini toast was, in retrospect, not the best idea.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Would it be inappropriate to do a science fair project on whether the type of drunk a person is is determined by nature or nurture
dude you're not even a fucking science major
...is this motivational speaking, or sexting? It's getting hard to tell.
Don't forget to grab a pregnancy test and sloppy joe mix for tonight
If dispatch calls for us tell them I'm having a significant emotional event in the restroom
I know we're not on great terms here, but I need to know if you're still available for sexual activity...cause if not I need to get going on a work-out plan.
We are taking a shrt nap on the sidewalk cme fine me if you want but dont wake me up
Randomize