your thong is hanging out like whoa
He's telling me stories about how he made out with a 14 yr old when he was 22. I'm going home.
i was unaware that anal sex sometimes ends with shit on the bed.
his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
that knocking you heard last night......that was her head slowly going through the wall
vagina is talking i cant
Cops came. Forced us to take the "Honk and We'll Drink" and the "Free Shots to Father's of Freshman Daughters" signs down. Before we did, someone honked and the cop said, "Aren't you gonna drink?" They then told us to move the party inside by ten.
At what point would you like us to save you from yourself?
I need to be drunk within 15 minutes of getting home tonight.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My body hates me. Pretty sure I drank 3 pitches full of coffee last night and took two adderal. I slept and ran a marathon at the same time. You should see my bed.
WHY IS THE HAIRSPRAY SOUNDTRACK PLAYING IN THE LIQUOR STORE
You're always so late and I'm always so drunk.
Your life is quite full of dick lately.
It really is!
So technically I made out with my second cousin this weekend... But it's by marriage and I'm adopted, so it's ok.
Call me Sherlock Holmes, bitch.
Randomize