Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
so later when i'm crying over him remind me that he once called his penis "senor weeper"
She sang Bad Romance to me. Not really the answer I was looking for.
I don't know if its because i'm stoned or what but painting my kitchen yellow makes it look crooked
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just took a shot out of a used mini planter. Might die from the pesticides, but didnt want whoever took all of my shotglasses to think they won.
He's like my sex unicorn. Elusive and majestic. I'll catch him, I'm baiting with patron.
We tried to line dance with everyone but it turned into drunken stumbling and attempting to grind on random frat boys. I feel that this might turn into an every Thursday thing.
I'm with Tony. He said he volunteers his ball sack for waxing but you will have to wait a few weeks. It is a freshly shaved sack. I guess he thought he was gonna get lucky. Wtf?
Smooth sack
Last time he went to Europe, every time he started drinking he would wake up in a different country with no memory. There is no way he can be tour leader.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I paused the movie when the delivery guys arrived, and while they were assembling the bed, one of the guys pointed to the tv and said "why so serious?" And it made the whole experience happy.
Eating a grilled cheese at a strip club... good idea??
I just had my first lesbian experience. Out of spite.
According to my snapchat story, I tore a fake wig off a security guard and ran away with it.
You know you suck at relationships when you are sitting in the airport on Christmas day, alone, swiping on Tinder.
Ugh I realized he only responds to my snaps when I’m eating a popsicle
Why are male brains so small?
Randomize