Just saw a homeless guy with a sign that said "Family abducted by aliens. Need money for ransom" and on the back of the sign it said "And it's only $.88"
I sometimes forget that turkeys are alive even when its not Thanksgiving.
There was an audience eating triscuts and bananas in the bathroom while watching him puke. It was a good birthday.
I'm coming over to use your dick. I need to take my aggression out on something. Hope that's cool.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We had to coat check the pizza.
that wasn't rum that I poured down your throat while you were sleeping
That sucks about the drama. But hey, it's always a good day when you see someone get tazed!
He left npr on the whole time when we were doing it. ironic that i lost it on the 100th anniversary of the titanic. thanks michelle norris.
We're in the kiddy pool eating marshmellows and drinking wine out of a box. Please dress casual.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
sea world and a strip club? BEST DAY EVER!
This chick had a condom box organized by size with dividers that glowed in the dark.
It's been 12 hours since I have heard from you and social media has given me no indication you are anything but dead, so that's what I'm going with.
Please remind me next time not to call the ex who cheated on me to cry about the ex who forgave me for putting him in prison. It would be much appreciated.
there's a giant awkward home-wrecking elephant in the room. and its name is meg.
Just stopped at a cross walk because the light turned red 3 streets down. I'm way too high.
Randomize