I just saw a woman parallel park a horse. Awesome. Only in New York..
I didn't realize he wasn't circumcised... it looked like the Unibomber...
it only took me 1 hour to write 8 pages. i'm never doing school work without adderall ever again.
Theres a picture of you hanging up on the wall in mcdonalds, i'm impressed
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
U owe me five dollars for that paper towel you bet i wouldnt eat last night
At one point I went looking for you and found you handcuffed to a chair. I'm pretty sure you handcuffed yourself. I don't know how you got there.
She can drink whiskey without a chaser and has a fridge full of whipped cream. Girlfriend potential
i was like his sober eyes girls would come up to us, show us theirs and if approved by me blew him, if rejected they went to my truck with a bottle of patron
show concern. Mark ate a butterfly and proceeded to drink more shots like nothing happened
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I fell into his fridge. I want to leave.
Bro, she said my penis was the best thing to happen to her mouth since teeth.
I lost my bra at his grandma's house so there's that.
We peed on campus in the middle of the tailgate and then hit on a married cop that asked you to stop touching him
Do you think they'll deliver pizza to my mouth
I woke up only wearing a Breaking Bad "Los Pollos Hermanos" apron he got from Loot Crate next to a 3 empty bottles of Zima,Jolly Ranchers, and a jar of coconut oil. Fernet is one hell of a party starter
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