do you know your status is "goal for vegas: hook up with a girl AND a boy"?
and THATS why i'm not adding my mom on facebook
i ditched last period to have sex with him. i had to change into my skank clothes in the church parking lot. little kids were on the swings.
nothing about this is right.
he told me he expects me to keep the fangs on when i go down on him. presumptuous, yes, but man after my own heart.
he was definitely TRYING to give me herpes.
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I'm hiding in a cabinet. I'm going to stay here.
it's like if youve been living with the grinch for 15 yrs and then santa shows up with a big gift begging to fuck the christmas spirit back into you. no one can say no to santa.
Both of our knuckles were split open this morning when I came out of the blackout, the column on the porch has two new cracks in it, were like the redneck Super Smash Bros.
Then years and years after that I will send you a picture of my warped vagina from all the kids that I had.
Dude, I came home and you were passed out halfway through the front door in your Minnie Mouse outfit... with a beer still in hand
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I'm wine drunk & this is not good news for anybody
I mean, I'm shallow, narcissistic, and selfish, but I'm an amazing friend sometimes
I gave her two orgasms and then we laid there and she ate jelly beans out of my belly button...that girls a keeper
Well I'm nervous now about the consequences of letting you loose
It's a big decision, I respect that you need to think about it.
I just did a bump with my mom so I’d sober up for Black Friday shopping
I told you about the baby at the graduation party that looked into my eyes and knew I was empty inside
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