im pretty sure all they do is fuck. and talk in baby talk. its two babys fucking basically.
We're past the whole "Did she just try to finger my ass?" Stage. Now it's encouraged.
BTW. If I show up really drunk and dressed a cowboy, don't be alarmed
Idk man I'm just a giant talking marshmallow ready to be toasted and dipped in chocolate
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oh you know, the usual stuff. getting kicked out of bars and sleeping in cars.
And then he said "if you were planning on bird feeding me that's not ok"
the cops accepted 42 wallaby way Sydney. and the cops, and cab driver accepted the new address. please tell the win i am experiencing
On the way home there was a guy passed out IN the road on Colfax with his pants around his ankles, completely bare assed. If he was dressed as a speed bump, he succeeded.
You tried crawling through the apartment window instead of going through the wide open door next to it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
But forealz I'm gonna need a solid 52 orgasms so hydrate.
Whoever put the life size cut out of Snoop Dog next to me in bed understands me.
I can't believe I'm coordinating a threesome at work. My productivity is at an all time low.
if having to see my ex’s dick once in a while is the price I pay to the universe for making my life go a little smoother, I’ll take it
just found a joint on the street in downtown. smoked it with the hot guy from my chem class
WHAT IS UP WITH YOU SMOKING/ DRINKING THINGS OFF THE GROUND?
I turn 40 next week. I deserve to celebrate the end of my 30’s with a 21 year old dick
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