Can the rest of this semester just go by as a montage?
Hey guess what I got for Valentine's day? Debt and blue balls.
They live so far away from me that not fucking them both would have been financially irresponsible
when i tried to put the condom on he started screaming about how he didn't want his groceries bagged
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Uhh, there's a legit bruise on my boob.. Again how does he manage this
Just filled the brita up in the bathtub because we couldn't get it into the sink.
underwater hpnotiq shots? sure why not.
Between the walk of shame, bar fight, karaoke, injuries, number of bar check-ins, and variety/quantity of alcohols and Advil consumed, I'd say HookerFest 2012 was a raging success.
I spent the whole weekend building houses out of popsicle sticks for my bowls. How was your weekend?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She just laid there, sucking on a piece of steak, with the most content look on her face. Just before she passed out (steak still on her mouth) she said the cat box needed to be emptied
I am not saying having unprotected sex in my boss' pool was a good idea, I am just saying it wasn't my worst idea of the summer.
He fucked me in his tour van, I feel like an official groupie.... Except I don't even listen to his band.
Those boxers don't belong to me anymore. They belong to the desert surrounding Phoenix.
And to celebrate the raising of our lord I just purchased a bunny buttplug. Am I doing this Easter thing right?
you were screaming "I don't need a shirt!" repeatedly while in the process of taking it off and flashing the bouncer. we got kicked out. thanks a lot.
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