Only girl at that party wearing a fake beard and I STILL get laid...
she kept peeing on everything and yelling it was now her property.
The pick up line I used was "Grab my sack, you'll be back." Then I winked at her.
I went online and donated $30 to his walk-a-thon as a "sorry I puked in your bed last night"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Bud light lime after 12 shots of vladdy is like frolickin in a meadow of sweet flavor
watched my neighbor eat five yodels, mow his lawn, and then cry on his porch after the party... what did you give him?
Also I've come to learn that "type" and "fetish" are different things. Apologies for earlier confusion.
if i dont text back till morning its cause i turned my phone off and changed my password to something i wont remember to stop myself from drunk texting...RESPONSIBILITY
Until you have had Country Grammar stuck in your head whilst writing a Supreme Court brief you've never lived.
BILL GATES DONALD TRUMP LET ME IN NOW
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's pretending to be my boyfriend so that my family won't bother us when we sneak off to smoke weed
My desperation for dick was off put by his anime figure collection.
You have got to be the only man who has passed out while getting a lap dance.
No fucking Jell-O shots or meth. Those are the rules
i woke up on someones kitchen floor, and i used the gps in my phone to find my way home. im really glad you forgot about me.
Was that before, or after strip tac toe.....
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