I just got a drinking merit badge from a slutty girl scout
I need Christmas break to be over. I'm tired of fucking my old High School girlfriends
Mac n' cheese is coming out of my nose. You can't make that feel better
You need to come get me. I'm pretty sure that gravity's going to crush my brain
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The online application for Mcdonald's said I could do incredible things there. Today I threw out shit filled underwear in the women's restroom and escorted a very drunk/high 42 year old man outside after he ordered a 5 dollar foot long and a bloody mary.
What's the wine called that we really like and we usually drink it with xanax?
I'm buying eyelash glue, salt, and limes. We know how tonight is ending.
There was a guy running for some position in our government named "young boozer" hell yes I voted for him
You stumbled in the house, mumbled something about a cheese party, grabbed a block of cheese and the whiskey, and left.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It takes a special kind of man to fart REALLY loudly right before entering a woman and still get some. This has been a state of bootytown address.
god, I have more takeout restaurants in my contacts than friends
The problem I'm having with looking for jobs while drunk is reading is really hard
Just remember: We don't tell our English professor about our fetishes unless she specifically asks about them.
Don't forget to bring $1s for the strippers. Make it rain!!!!
Thanks, mom, will do
the guy in front of me in walmart is buying a blowtorch, potato chips, and condoms. I'm curious and horrified at the same time.
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