He just told me he would murder a thousand dolphins to be with me. Quite the charmer.
I'm in that akward stage between jailbait and cougar
Well, I guess this was as good a night as any to find out I don't know how to use my fire extinguisher.
Calling yourself a modern day Geisha doesn't justify being a whore.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Uh oh. Middle aged belly dancers. And they just got out swords. Shit is about to get real.
You demanded I give you a glass of water, so I set it down in front of you and you knock it over and roll in it..,
I wanted to be a dolphin.
Seriously? He's going to use MY birthday sex as the opportunity to ask if he can pee on me?!? I let him, but wow talk about selfish.
I remember seeing his penis I just dont know exactly what I did with it
I'm not sure if I should be proud of you for having morals or disappointed in you for letting your sex life get this sad.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm tired of being known as the Great Giver Goddess of the Almighty Pity Bone.
Judging by the ckaw marks on my back i'm gonna go out on a limb and say that blonde chick was a werewolf. A sexy, kinky werewolf.
I told him I'd ride his broomstick if he let me call him Harry Potter and drew a lightning bolt on his forehead.
Just had a threesome with a married couple.
Stop living my dream.
They weren't kidding when they said "Go Army Strong." Best sex I ever had.
He has me blocked on facebook.... so I stalked him using my cats fan page.
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