her facebook's as public as her vagina
My corndog is like a popsicle of bread. A WHOLE. POPSICLE. OF BREAD.
Why is everyone in the bowling alley looking at me like i'm a prostitute just because I have bunny ears on?
Everything tastes like Lysol. Am I dying?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just got in my apt...and theres jungle juice here i left from over a month ago..this could be interesting...or deadly
he was spitting whole peanuts projectile out of his mouth at the waitresses as they walked by and then yelled across the restaurant that he had "no problem kicking any of their asses"
Haha, apparently they frown upon male strippers there. Bouncers couldn't catch me tho.
my human sexuality class is the only class where the porn i watch the night before is relevant to the discussion the next day
I don't want sex or anything I just really need someone to appreciate how shiny my hair is
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Like how hard is it to come up to me with chocolate and wine and say "hey, you're beautiful. Wanna marathon Doctor Who in sweatpants?" Hell yes!
You just missed an honest to god bukkake
The box said 94% effective prevention of pregnancy if used correctly but God knows I’m not gonna use it right so let’s adjust that to like a 70%
This is the third time this month a guy I’m not dating has dumped me. How is this even possible???
You sat outside petting a picture of your cat for hours... not even the real thing... just a picture.
I'm listening to a women in metal station and wearing a flannel. I may have approached peak lesbian.
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