If she didn't want me to pass out in her bathroom, then she shouldn't have such a furry rug in there
Saw a pregnant woman get a lap dance last night. I love the south.
There's just this way he looks at me that makes me want to suck his soul out through his dick.
Spotted: forty year old in red dress, cigarette in hand, squatting to pee by railroad tracks. Hello future.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I called him Han Solo during sex, he looked at me like he was mortified then I realized he came.
I want you to tape your fingers together and give me a lobster claw hand job.
She definitely pulled a diaper out of her purse and cleaned up the vodka with it, where do you meet these people?!
Easy Mac is falling out of my sweatshirt as I'm walking down the street.
We're trying to decide between cracker barrel an the ER
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You do resemble something that has been used as a chew toy.
Its a good night to get drunk in my onesie.
I can't help but feel like we would be friends still if my phone didn't always capitalize BUTTLOAD...
Just participated in the saddest thing: Cheetos. Handjob. I have lost at life
You can't just bring up bondage and then stop answering me
Divorce can be hard, but look on the bright side. Your soon to be ex raved about your dick and I’m great with hard things ;-)
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