Let's pretend this is a good idea before I change my mind.
he turned two sober chicks into 7 drunken girls...he's my hero
You should've come out last night, I need someone to explain why the bartender tried to strangle me...
Don't be alarmed at the girl laying on your bathroom floor.
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We had sex in the tent after his 6th beer and while we were at it we had conversations with the people outside the tent.
Circumcision scars are like fingerprints. I think I'm on to something man.
Did you leave a blizzard on my porch last night? Or was that someone else giving out a metaphorical threat to me?
then she kicked a hole in her own door and the next thing you know, brian's walking up to her room with power tools. in no condition to use them
she didnt realize that i was putting on the same condom i used the night before with some other girl
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He explained how that handle got into our fridge. I think i'm going to stick with my original assumption that the vodka gods want me to drink more vodka.
I think we should get high on adderall and nair each other again for New years.
After she lost the bet I made her get on one knee so she could "Te-blow me"
definitely just forgot to put car in park in front of a police officer and ran into a bush.
I just want you to know that I think it is hilarious and wonderful that 40s are now your alcohol of choice.
Quick, I need a picture of your dick. Don't ask questions, just show me your genitals.
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