Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
I can’t believe the potential orgy I left behind at Waffle House.
When you're on the hood of a car, 10 mph feels pretty fucking fast.
So she just apologized to the fire extinguisher.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's not my theme song, it's my blowjob song. There's a difference.
As he was under the stripper backwards, he yelled "we should totally be facebook friends"
you had a pretty long talk with your shrooms in attempt to make them not give you a bad trip, it failed
i cant answer while inside this church craft show. so unless you're outside with my engagement ring and a nonfat gingerbread latte, it'll have to wait.
For the amount of money I just spent on my dogs toe, I could have fucked the entire B squad at a low end strip club.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's high as balls tripping balls and doing a reenactment of the scene where Buzz jumps off the balcony and can't fly to his soundtrack of Toy Story.
Not sure how ur night is going, but unless u also saw a naked drunk chick pissing outside i doubt it can top mine
Slutty summer 2013 has officially started. I did accidentally bite a dick though.
Wound up hungover. Visiting 4 y/o nephew suggested cookies and milk and playing Kirby with him with the sound down. This kid is going places.
Imma go take shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
I'm going to come in the middle of the night and attack you with spoons
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