it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
what is it about summer that misdirects my moral compass so much?
we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
she just took a shower. i'll probs go down on her to encourage shower taking. it's like pavlov, you know?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My doctor just informed me that my food allergies qualify me for a medical marijuana license. I get it on Tuesday. It won't help at all, but my life is awesome!
I'm coming over to use your dick. I need to take my aggression out on something. Hope that's cool.
I'm sorry but I require more work than your hamster. I need food, a minimum of 5 pillows, and I need to be played with daily.
I walking on her passed out on her bed, clutching a burrito and the walking dead dvd on replay.
I thought I could grab a hold of my stream of urine. So she left pretty soon after that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Judging by my bruises, I know I took more than one tumble. I probably pulled u down w me, and then punched you in the knee. Been trying to find a place to fix my phone between naps today. Almost no place accepts hand js as currency these days. 2013 is gonna be expensive and whorey.
State dependent memory. I just needed to feel my teeth. It was like a fog was lifted.
You're more than welcome to join us! There's red velvet cake and apparently my pants are open for business I didn't consent to this
Why I hate online dating: not even one day in and a 57 year old asks me to call him "Daddy."
There is a fake eye lash glued to one of my balls.
Let's just wait to see what happens before we start making radical plans and starting fires
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