I give out O-faces like they're halloween candy
i was gonna fuck her but then she started eatin sushi from her purse. i really need to raise my standards
I have your shoes, your bike, and someones blue underwear. Round 2 tonight?
What do you wear to apply at a strip club?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Listen. I don't care if its "nontoxic" im not putting it in my fucking vagina.
Its not gay if you're best friends and there's less than an inch of dick in the picture. That's where the line is drawn
It wasn't so much a one night stand as much as one night she puked on my nightstand.
Treating myself to outback while reading the entire manual that comes with my birth control in public. Is this what single has come to?
I never turn down an adventure. My life is like a sexual Lord of the Rings.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He added me on LinkedIn while I was baking weed brownies in the boxers he left here... Is this adulthood?
Did I send you a drunk selfie with a pine tree last night?
One minute I'm going home the next I'm getting railed on the back 9.
Someone's gotta tell him drunk sex comes before dating
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
.......do you have the salami in bed? I'm trying to make a sandwich.
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