i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
hey, can i borrow that thing you never use?
what?
your penis
I just saw that your im name has '4eva' in it. Your man card has been revoked.
Fucked her within an inch of her life. Seriously. Don't choke bitches when they ask. Was way too drunk to be pulling that shit.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The only reason anyone found out he threw up is because everyone heard it sizzle the bonfire out.
I'm pretty sure getting a blow job behind a bar in Rome while her little sister is throwing up in a dumpster not 5 feet away, gives entirely new meaning to the phrase "When in Rome"
I figured out plans for New Year's and by figuring out I mean I've got a sugar bowl of cocaine. Start at 10?
There are 18k people at the game and I'm next to the one guy who pulls his underwear down to his ankles to piss.
He went THROUGH MY PHONE (he's 30 for God sake) then asked me why I was stringing along 12 guys... I told him he could have just asked me if I was banging other people and then saved himself from looking at pics of dicks bigger than his.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I went to daintily fall onto my bed like I was in a hotel commercial and I completely missed my matress and landed on my floor. Just thought u should know.
The fuck-me-pumps were hot, the XL hoody kinda ruined it.
I walked into her room to find her sitting on the end of her bed with her heads in her hands talking to herself. She kept muttering things like "What? How? No. What? I don't --- How?" $10 says she's pregnant.
I'll see to your $10 and raise you $40.
I put his pb&j sandwich in my bra and never looked back
Remind me to tell you the story of the fuzzy condom
I'll give you another blowjob if you bring me some cake.
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