Some guy just watched me feed 30 dimes and 3 quarters for bread and cheese at the self checkout at walmart. I no longer comprehend shame...
You are the patron saint of my drinking problem.
he's from indiana, of course he's clueless about "g-spots"
just asked if they'd gift wrap go-go taquitos for you at 7-eleven
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You tried to sled down the middle of the street. In. Your. Coat. Of course you are bruised.
she asked to have her picture taken with every guy we walked by.
Best elective surgery ever. Having a great time ignoring girls' pleas to pull out and blowing it inside anyway. I like to watch them absolutely freak out and go batshit crazy for 20 mins before I mention the snip-snip surgery. Power trip.
Well I consider my vagina a dear friend. She treats me good I treat her good. We work together. Glad we could be of service.
If you're wondering why you have playpen balls it's because we stopped at chuckie cheese on the way home.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
ON A SIMILAR NOTE MY DICK SIZE PSYCHIC SKILLS ARE SO GOOD
multiple people will be seeing my nips tonight. not mad about it at all
She gave me a can of steel reserve to pour on myself in the shower
My phone just put together a highlight reel of yesterday's dick pic session, set to music and everything
He’s 21. The president of his frat. I’m 28 and have a career!
Do it. It’s a noble position.
Have you ever forgotten how to pee? I did last night. Standing in front of the urinal with dick in hand. WTF were we drinking???
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