If that was your dad, he is hot
Im drinkin out of a coconut! I think im gonna dip my balls in it!
my mom just served us mashed potatoes with an ice cream scoop. When I asked her why, she said she thought it would make dinner 'more fancy'...
so last night after we hooked up i got my period and woke up this morning with a blood stain on his bed and not only was it huge but i had put my jeans back on before bed so i took the walk of shame with period stained pants
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I managed to convince my mom that my hickey was a birth mark I have always had. She cried for an hour about being a terrible mother for never noticing it.
I offered to go to AA with him...not because I am admitting I have a problem but because I want to see what they are saying about people like us.
I understand why they say don't drink the water in Mexico... I just saw 5 guys piss upstream of where the bar tender went to get the water
Hey where the fuck is the rest of my beer? Lets start this day off right
So I just stirred my shower drink with my razor.
I'm not going to ask which end you used.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They've already turned me into the Dean of Students once because they felt 'unsafe' because I came home hammered and asked one of them to make me a grilled cheese sandwich. Like, I just ASKED!
She told me having sex was our civic duty. How can I not love her?
The ecstacy made me so dehydrated I started licking condensation off car windows
You're the only person I know who would go to New Jersey to give a blowjob and I have so much respect for you for it
she crawled a good forty meters just to whisper in my ear... "dildon't"
low point of the night : a cop just busted out laughing at me.
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