My nipple is on Facebook.
She accidentally pre-ordered us Dominos for the next day at 11:30am... we were very confused when we woke up.
The cop only confirmed I'm .22% Irish. Then I threw up on him.
Do you think I can haggle my way to discounted weed on 4.21?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just couldn't help myself when there was a FOUNTAIN OF SHOTS
so does the 200 for rent and 150 for utilities include the never telling my boyfriend about the guys i bring home.. or is that extra?
Her inability to understand the word "moderation" is the achille's heel of an otherwise perfect human
He's single. I'm single. We should rekindle our eighth grade romance over a box of wine and carefree sex.
Before he comes over remember the house standards. Ask yourself "will he stalk my sister or myself in the future?". If the answer is yes, then no, he isn't allowed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is biking from my house to 6th street for liquor pitchers a good idea or a bad idea
I just need some dick and some jimmy johns
She came out of my bathroom wearing nothing but high top Converse, a leather jacket and a tongue stud. I love rock bars.
Got 3360 Shoppers points for buying Plan B. I guess this all worked out for the best.
Do you lock your house? Serious question, I need to know if I can add it to my list of emergency poop stops
You're lucky I just like fucking you because you would really suck at being a boyfriend.
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