no weekend plans? you're practically married
just without the last name or joint bank account
i'd advise against both
you refused to come out of the bathroom until i asked you in spanish
It's true- you can buy beer at McDonald's in France. I'm not coming back to the States.
We did a shot for each one. Father... son... and holy ghost. That wasn't enough though so we moved on to toasting dead relatives.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
As shirtless as possible
Would you feed me pudding while my fake tan dries?
I'm pretty sure they had a hash wedding cake. I love college weddings.
Listen. I don't care if its "nontoxic" im not putting it in my fucking vagina.
I knew it was time to stop when you guys were playing a drinking game called "every three steps take a drink"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's a little weird that I'm blowing my wingman.
so let me get this straight... she's showing a cameltoe that can be seen from the space station and I'm NOT supposed to stare?
Three months into our sexual relationship, he comes out with "Your body is efficient". WTF do I do with THAT?
He was so high he started playing Twister on the striped rug. Then when we missed midnight he went on a screaming rampage about his New Year's Eve being meaningless. How do you think it went?
You woke up at like 4 in the morning fell off your bunk bead, yelled at Nic for asking if you were ok, walked to the kitchen, pissed on the keg, and then looked at me and said "Still not worth it" then went back to bed.
I don't want to hook up with him sober. That's pretty much like saying I love you.
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