the new apple iphone has a feature that can find itself if you lose it, apple is getting closer to making a phone completely drunkproof...
All I wanted to tell you is that I fucked a guy covered in fake blood, who circumcised himself.
RIP Summer 2010. God knows it had to be one of us..
Rent Disney Oceans. Smoke a bowl. Fast forward to the seal section. Then call me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
...She was shooting whiskey using a turkey baster...i was horrified.
Why don't we skip the roadtrip entirely, save us the trip, and go straight to jail?
I demand visitation hours with the duck.
I feel the need to send all my exes pictures of penises larger than theirs. Because they all must suffer.
But hes like a baby bird with a broken wing that i want to FUCK.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I broke my arm trying to do a hand stand in my shower to wash the hate out of my asshole.
You work today? I woke up with a raging boner that was whispering your name
The saddest thing about graduating is that we won't have free access to STI screening anymore
She's in it for that fear factor ya'll. Obsession and stalking or nothing.
Just found out that the guy I lost my virginity to voted for Gary Johnson. It's almost more upsetting then him ending up being a massive asshole.
That's good to know, because I will be doing terrible things to you. Terrible things, John, wicked, evil, maniacal things shall happen to you and I will have the audacity to call it sex
STILL COMPLETELY OKAY WITH THIS
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