Have you finally orgasmed yet?
i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
Have you ever had champagne poured on you during sex? It was like a rap video
we're taking a shot everytime we receive a "Happy Thanksgiving!!!!!" mass text. up to 7 since 10am. God help us.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We told the pizza man that the door was most likely unlocked, he could leave the pizza on the counter and give himself 20%. He did it-I'm never moving out of Aspen.
Well hello freshman 15, didn't see you there until I tried on last years summer clothes.
What I'm trying to say is, that time you chained me to my dresser and made me beg for it was incredibly romantic.
Can cross "get fingered at a state park" off my bucket list
"Only you can prevent yeast infections."
We kinda got asked to leave the strip club and on the way out, you fell again. When you finally got up we got a standing ovation from the girls behind the bar and you took a bow. It was awesome.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Lost my anal v card with Peter Thiel's RNC speech on in the background. Unbelievably appropriate
I promised her I would shit on your driveway. There's nothing that you or I can do about it now.
I'm pretty sure my calc professer is on coke. He's just too excited for this to be an 8am class.
We're sort of like brothers. Except with more sexual tension. And we don't look alike. Or are related.
So we're not much like brothers really.
Did you get drunk between now and two texts ago?
It's bullshittery. It's asshattery. It's complete fuckery at its finest.
Randomize