apparently smacking a customer in the face with his iPhone was not part of the WOW factor we learned in training...
no... you woke up naked next to the toilet because you said your outfit was too cute to throw up in
hammered. By myself. Accident. Faillll. Snowwwwwy
You came in at two thirty, wearing your underwear and a tie then asked where you could find a sombrero and a pair of stilletos that would fit your men's size thirteen feet.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm now in all their contact lists as "Pee-Pee Hands"...
naw. unless you want me to sit in a corner, not understand english and eat all of your cheese then i don't think it's a good idea.
This dude. Just lost. A finger. He asked us for tape.
Our brains have an emergency blowjob override switch. You saw proof tonight.
Oh my god. He likes it up the butt. But loves womanly support. Omg. Its bad. Its bad. Ive had too much whiskey for this to be ANYthing except bad.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just had to remind myself that I'm visible in real life. Sitting in the car in a parking lot, and almost took my shirt off because the tag is itchy and I wanted it off... and you know I don't wear bras...
A 74 year old man offered to let me sleep on his pull out couch last night.
American Eric just peed on us from the second floor. Hes now very confused as to why his "toilet is yelling." Send help.
Plus we had to have sex before the game because there is a good chance we won’t be speaking for the rest of the week. #ironbowl
I may have just got motorboated by a male stripper who told me I should be a porn star and not a vet student.
Christ, I'm so hungover I pretty positive I sent Luna to school with salsa instead of jelly on her sandwich.
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