VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
Jon and Kate. Drink everytime we see tears. Drink twice if a child cries. Finish your bev if you cry.
i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
She tied me up with her honor cords...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She always acts like she's doing me a favor with a hand job. I've been giving myself hand jobs for almost 20 years.
I'm going to practice throwing things up the the air and catching them between my boobs, because that seems like a cool party trick.
This is irresponsible on your part, leaving me alone in a bar.
Pizza toast. It's like pizza but on toast. BC we are broke. OMG its so good.
You would never do this sober.
There are some sad choices of men in the ER. That one was missing teeth. Not the place to find a husband.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Two options. One, you listen while I freak out. Two, we have mediocre to awesome car sex and don't talk. Either way, I'll be there by 7
I ACCIDENTALLY HOOKED UP WITH A GUY WHO HAS A NICHOLAS CAGE POSTER ABOVE HIS BED I CANT HANDLE LIFE.
The universe is either telling you 1. you make terrible decisions or 2. its time to let go of your hatred of Cage.
we played animal sounds and i linked arms with her cuz we were both cats....fate and my community college drama teacher have chosen my one night stand
He made a deal with his real estate agent called fucking in 50 properties for sale
All I want is a hot dog on a Saturday at 2:19 is that to much to ask?!
My head is bruised from having sex in the backseat of an explorer last night.
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