just found his boxers balled up inside my tights, hidden in my freezer. damn i love college.
he had a dikembe mutombo jersey on, was swatting peoples drinks out of their hand and wagging his finger in their face everytime he did it.
NEW RULE: NO INNAPROPRIATE CHOICES THAT INVOLVE GUNS. I LIKE IT. WRITE THAT DOWN.
He threw up, and left his credit card next to the puddle. He kept on saying he wanted to pay for the damages.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She literally just cut half her hair off because she's tired of asking someone to hold it back when shes drunk and puking.
The last time I saw you, you were rolling around on the ground at the bar.....
.....well it was bound to be an interesting night since I was chasing my pulls with pulls....
I fcuked ip.
Is this your way of telling me that you got drunk in your office before meeting with your dissertation advisor again? Or that you finally banged that freshman fraternity pledge?
drinking ice water after you brush your teeth, is like Antarctica blowing a load into your mouth.
I believe in weed hangovers. To say the least.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There's nothing quite like having a little 8 year old boy hand me a Bible on campus while I'm on my way to the health center because of my recent slutty tendencies.
At one point she whispered in my ear "I overdrew my bank account today" but besides that it was an awesome lap dance
Seeking encouragement from my tinder matches to ace this test. I've sunk to a newest low.
I was lying I actually don't, I hope a reindeer shitted in her bed
His dick is pure magic - dark, powerful, beautiful magic. It's the Elder Wand of penises
the cop said "drunk and disorderly" like it was a bad thing
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