three words: i give head
three words: not that well
i'm watching the tyra show: "women who beat up their boyfriends" - lets see how she can make THIS one all about herself too.
haha you were so trashed that you deleted all of your christian music from itunes and kept saying"c-ya God, nice knowin ya"
I am drinking ovaltine with peppermint schnapps. My childhood could have been so much better.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
woke up in a garbage bag. literally. it was used as a sleeping bag.
I feel like my teeth are sweating.
Guess who has got hockey tickets for tonight? Only cost me road head going to and coming from the game
tried to out drink an american air force weapons loader. never again
shotgunning beer in rite aid bathroom. hurry
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No don't worry! What are obnoxious, alcoholic, slut roommates for if not for uplifting words and tales of my folly?!
Did you just send me an ass picture with a quote from the lion king?
What are you gonna do about it?
But what I'm actually thinking about is how everyone except me had sex on my bed this weekend and now I'm just sleeping in it with a 7 foot tall blue panda
i think ive been high everyday since ive met you
All I did today was eat pizza and use my vibrator.
After returning from the hospital with lock-jaw from getting tackle at the game. Some naked chick busted out of his room and hit him with a devastating haymaker to the jaw because he wouldn't have sex
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