Remember that night when i almost got you arrested? Is that funny yet?
he recorded me cumming with the t-pain app on his iphone
New game: Step 1) Turn on ESPN. Step 2) Drink every time someone says "LeBron."
I'm thinking we can stop tracking my sex life by the hotels I've hooked up in and instead use bar bathrooms I've gotten head in.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
By the power invested in me, I now pronounce your taco to be meaty. Meaty taco meaty taco meaty meaty meaty taco.
I have stripper ass cheeks all over my glasses
If there was a saddle on his sack, she would ride it.
If youre wondering about the smell, i set your hamster on fire. But don't worry he's ok
Your grammar in that last text message was so awful.. My vagina wants to go crawl in a hole, and never speak to you again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Remember the couple Steve and I heard and rated their sex based on the bed squeaks cuz we couldn't sleep through the noise? We got them back. They turned up the radio to drown us out.
Did you catch one of my beer pong balls in your cleavage or was that a dream?
there's people who respect me enough not to bang on my bed and i think that's beautiful
Idk woke up on the suite in someone else's clothing and actually broke my ankle
At the light, his mom pulled up next to us while I was giving him road head. He forgot to tell me she was meeting us at the movie. So long story short, I convinced her I drove myself, pick me up in 20.
So you can text and rub it at the same time? Bravo.
I can do anything and masturbate, if I truly wanted to.
Randomize