and before you know it i was laying next to him at 2 in the morning with penis and sadness on my breath.
So after the reception we snuck back into the church for drunken hook up. we passed out there and woke up in time for 6am mass still dressed from the wedding. spiritually trashy or classy?
We snorted a line of cocaine and xanax, and then played a game of Backgammon. It was surprisingly therapeutic.
I poured myself a glass of chocolate chips at some point during the evening.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Definitely need to find a less healthy bootycalls. All this bitch got in her fridge is feta, English muffins and wheat grass. What the fuck can I make with that???
Found 2 Coors, problem solved.
I want you inside of me and on top of me and under me and behind me
Basically I need you to be like god, just fucking everywhere
Also the fuck cup must be buried with me
My night ended with a French cab driver offering me his sperm free of cost.
This girl just said she was late for class because she was having sex.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Its guy fieris flavor town of suffering™
I lost a fight last night. By that I mean I head butt the bar and busted my lip open.
My friend just got engaged and I'm setting vibrators on fire.
Your life rocks...
I dont understand why so many people are content staying in and avoiding alcohol and sex
What. The. Fuck.
You'll have to be more specific. I do a lot of "what the fuck" kind of stuff
Mom wants to know if you're coming over or if it's safe for her to take her bra off...
Randomize