We could sell used underwear with pictures of us wearing them.
There is now a Twilight themed dildo. What do YOU want for christmas??
Is a Chipotle burrito an acceptable "sorry I ran over your cat" gift?
I already brushed my teeth, and it's not even noon yet. Today's going to be a productive day.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
your dad just showed up on the golfcart with a keg. i. love. our. neighborhood.
i love that you felt the need to clarify that you don't actually have drugs in your vagina.
He held me the entire night. Not endearing kind of way. Like kidnapping or held hostage kind of way.
I HAVE A PIGEON IN MY JACKET.
Pretty sure they aren't letting me back to karaoke night after I screamed "fuck every one of you tasteless hillbillies!!" because I felt they didn't clap loud enough for Jen.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How do you not remember?? She kept putting a dollar on her waistband and insisting it was all you can eat under a dollar
You would think that me seductively unzipping my cat feetie pajamas would make him want to fuck me.
I just told the sun to stop. That hungover.
I sent my roommate a text from MY phone that said, "I don't know where my phone is." Must've been a good night.
Apparently I have decided there are no repercussions for my actions
Van sex tonight? No need to tell me how classy that sounded.
Randomize